abusive relationship – Aubri Black

Abuse October 25, 2019

Am I Being Abused?

Are you in an abusive relationship? If you have ever asked yourself this question or wondered if you should ask it, then now is the time to get as much information as possible before you talk yourself out of it. Our instincts can bring us to important questions, but sometimes we are not willing to find the answers. We need to trust our instincts and not ignore any warning signs that something might be wrong. If you suspect you are in an abusive relationship, it’s extremely important that you educate yourself on the signs and find out if you are so you can take the appropriate action steps. What you don’t know, can be life-threatening. Abuse starts small and escalates. The escalation usually happens slowly so you get used to a new normal each time something happens and thus are not able to see the severity of the situation you…

Abuse July 12, 2019

How to Identify Things a Domestic Abuse Victim Might Say

Last year I asked people what questions they had for someone who has been in an abusive relationship. Here’s one: “Were there any phrases or statements you made to others while in that relationship that were meant to be a cry for help? What things can we be listening for in others?” Note: I will use he as the pronoun for the abusive person and she as the victim because that was my experience. Unfortunately many women who are in covertly abusive relationships don’t know they are being abused so there might not be an obvious cry for help. Things will be more subtle. The most important thing you can do is educate yourself on the signs of abuse and the mindset of an abusive person. To answer this question I would like to first say that an abusive person will brainwash his spouse in such a sneaky way that…

Abuse June 15, 2018

What Not to Say to Someone in an Abusive Relationship

Abusive relationships are more common than you think; however, many people don’t call them that or don’t know that is what they are. Some find the word abusive too harsh, while others don’t know how to define abuse, to begin with. Some of the things that people said to me once I left an abusive relationship, made me feel judged and criticized in a time when I needed support. I don’t hold it against them though, I know how hard it is to understand. It took me a long time to get it myself. I also know most people meant well. They simply didn’t understand the dynamics that are present in an abusive relationship. Not a lot of people talk about abuse so knowing what it is like and the signs are not common knowledge. Below are the lessons I learned from my own experience, and from times I got…

Abuse February 14, 2017

Why I Hated Valentine’s Day

You know that girl who hates Valentine’s Day because she doesn’t have a movie-version of love in her life? Yeah, that was me. Love is tricky. The word covers so many possible definitions. I love my family. I love my socks. I love foxes. As humans, we are prone to imposing conditions on love. However, conditional love can come at too high a cost — it’s exhausting. Is it possible to keep loving someone who always gives “love” based on conditions? If perfection is a requirement, can anyone achieve that? Is it even really love? Valentine’s Day was a day that came around and reminded me that I considered love to be gifts, chocolate and candy. I’m obsessed with cinnamon hearts and February is the only time I can get them. But he hated cinnamon hearts, wouldn’t be near me even if he just smelt them. (Perhaps, that is why…