Did you know that abuse happens in Christian relationships at the same rate as non-Christian relationships? Sometimes young women think that if they date and marry a Christian guy, he will be “safe” but that is not statistically true.
Did you know that abuse takes many forms? Here are some warning signs:
- Discouraging you from seeing friends or pursuing your own interests
- Pushing sexual activity beyond your comfort level
- Being jealous of other relationships
- Withdrawing and being emotionally cold and distant
- Attacking your ideas and opinions
- Saying you are “crazy”
- Intimidating you
- Throwing things
- Driving recklessly or angrily with you in the car
- Putting you down or calling you names
- Commenting about your weight
- Belittling you, making fun of you, being sarcastic
If you have experienced any of these abusive or controlling behaviours from your partner, be concerned and talk to someone you can trust. For more information: whenlovehurts.ca.
*The above is from a pamphlet I received at a When Love Hurts seminar by Karen McAndless-Davis.
If Your Partner Does These 11 Things, It May Be Financial Abuse
“It’s common for couples to occasionally argue about money or bicker over bills. But if your partner is controlling when it comes to spending, discourages you from earning more money, or has begun controlling all the income in your relationship, it may be a sign of financial abuse.”
Warning signs:
- They control all the credit cards
- They get weirdly upset when spend money
- They control all your income
- They have too much say in your career
- They harass you at work
- They spend money behind your back
- They give you an allowance
- They keep you in the dark
- They often “play games”
- They’re hiding a large debt
- They take advantage of your generosity
Read the full article and descriptions of each here.
11 Subtle Signs You Might Be In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship
“Physical abuse is easy to recognize, but emotional abuse in a relationship can be more insidious, often going undetected by family members, friends and even victims themselves.”
Warning signs:
- You walk on eggshells to avoid disappointing your partner.
- Your partner uses gaslighting to maintain the upper hand in the relationship.
- Your partner requires constant check-ins and wants to know where you are and who you are with at all times.
- Your partner says hurtful things about you disguised as “jokes.”
- You find yourself apologizing even when you know you’ve done nothing wrong.
- Your partner is hot and cold.
- Your partner refuses to acknowledge your strengths and belittles your accomplishments.
- Your partner withholds affection, sex or money to punish you.
- You’ve lost sexual desire for your partner.
- You feel sorry for your partner, even though they hurt you.
- Your partner is always changing plans in order to “surprise” you — or so they say.
Read the full article and descriptions here.
11 Signs You’re the Victim of Narcissistic Abuse
“Imagine this: your entire reality has been warped and distorted. You have been mercilessly violated, manipulated, lied to, ridiculed, demeaned and gaslighted into believing that you are imagining things. The person you thought you knew and the life you built together have been shattered into a million little fragments.”
Warning signs:
- You experience dissociation as a survival mechanism.
- You walk on eggshells.
- You put aside your basic needs and desires, sacrificing your emotional and even your physical safety to please the abuser.
- You are struggling with health issues and somatic symptoms that represent your psychological turmoil.
- You develop a pervasive sense of mistrust.
- You experience suicidal ideation or self-harming tendencies.
- You self-isolate.
- You find yourself comparing yourself to others, often to the extent of blaming yourself for the abuse.
- You self-sabotage and self-destruct.
- You fear doing what you love and achieving success.
- You protect your abuser and even ‘gaslight’ yourself.
Read the full article and descriptions here.
You don’t have to check off everything on a list for a relationship to be considered unhealthy or abusive. If any of these are present, it is worth taking a closer look at to see what’s at the root.
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