Last year I asked people what questions they had for someone who has been in an abusive relationship. Here’s one: “Were there any phrases or statements you made to others while in that relationship that were meant to be a cry for help? What things can we be listening for in others?” Note: I will use he as the pronoun for the abusive person and she as the victim because that was my experience. Unfortunately many women who are in covertly abusive relationships don’t know they are being abused so there might not be an obvious cry for help. Things will be more subtle. The most important thing you can do is educate yourself on the signs of abuse and the mindset of an abusive person. To answer this question I would like to first say that an abusive person will brainwash his spouse in such a sneaky way that…