It’s funny how much we can forget, isn’t it? I never really think about how much I’ve forgotten until I try to remember something I thought I would never forget and guess what? I forgot. I can sometimes remember the general feelings or some details of certain things but other memories are completely gone. I know trauma has damaged my brain. Some memories intensified, some vanished, and others jumbled. The thing that helps me remember the most are my journals. I forgot (see how easy it is) how important journalling was to me until I was talking with my sister. She was telling me about how she was reading through her old journals. There were memories in there that she didn’t even remember. Funny ones too. She’s glad and I’m glad she wrote them down. Prior to that conversation, my dad had also been reading through his old journals and…

Recently, after a friend texted me asking for some advice, I had a moment. As I was texting my opinion, I realized she already knew the answer. She just needed someone to validate her thoughts and feelings. Here I was trying to come up with the perfect response when all I needed to do was ask the right questions and affirm her. Not everyone who asks for advice is looking for advice. And those who don’t ask for advice, are definitely not asking for advice.  But it’s programmed in us to want and need to give advice. As a society, we are super quick to give it. We are quick to offer age-old phrases, quips, clichés to answer complex, and often not trivial, matters. Those lame responses are very minimizing and often inappropriate. I see them on comments online all the time and I hate it. Particularly I get annoyed with…

It all started with a pat on my stomach. A moment I talk about in my upcoming memoir. My ex patted my stomach and told me I was getting fat. Naturally, I was horrified. I never wanted to experience that moment, or anything like it, again so I worked my ass off (literally) to be as thin as possible. Thus began my journey to becoming anorexic.  Slowly and secretly, I became obsessed with counting calories, exercising, and seeing how long I could last without eating. It felt impossible to go one day without exercising; I needed to burn more calories. I felt guilty if I indulged in too much food. I felt guilty if I gained any weight. Years into living with anorexia — and not realizing it — I took a picture of myself 50lbs lighter than I am today for a “before” shot. I was convinced I needed…

Internet comments are everywhere. People respond on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blogs, whatever. If there is a space for comments there will be someone commenting. This is a great way to create a community, find out what others think, see different perspectives and sides. It can be helpful. However, as we all know comments can also be horrible! The comments that have been driving me the craziest lately (besides ignorant, mean, argumentative, disrespectful comments) are the ones like this: She should have just done _________. If I was him, I would have done ________. Even though those comments annoy me, I do understand why people write them. If it’s a horrible thing someone is describing, we want to distance ourselves. In saying we would not do the same thing as the victim, we can protect ourselves and think the same thing couldn’t possibly happen to us. It can be out of…