blog – Aubri Black

Life March 7, 2018

What Depression Feels Like to Me

It’s strange for me to share something like this. I don’t always know how to talk about my struggle with depression, and I usually don’t want to. Sometimes I feel like there are multiple versions of myself and they appear at different times. I feel so completely one way one day and then the opposite the next. Despite my desire to not talk about it, depression is something that needs to be talked about. It’s something that can be helpful when learned through the eyes of those in the midst of the battle. Often I find it easier to say that I have anxiety, but not depression because it comes with so many more negative stigmas. I don’t want to be looked down on. I don’t want to be seen as sick or messed up. I don’t want to be broken. I don’t want sympathy. I’m not lazy when I lack…

Life October 14, 2017

Does Writer’s Block Exist?

It is not that I have nothing to write. It is that I have too much to write. I start and go down one path then another then another. My head is swimming in thoughts and some connect, some don’t. Probably some on a subconscious level do and don’t connect, confusing all other conscious thoughts. I used to think that I got writer’s block. I don’t think I do. In some ways, I don’t think it exists. Maybe it does for some people, but it manifests itself in different ways. I never run out of things to write about, I simply run into something else that blocks my creativity. I get a thing I call perfectionism block. Where my mind shuts off when it discovers I can’t do something perfectly. As soon as it thinks through all the possibilities and the idea that I might have missed or perspectives…

Life October 5, 2017

From Blonde to Brown and Back Again, an Aubri’s Tale

Unless you are bald, the hair on your head is with you everywhere. It is a defining feature. I have changed my hair many times. I’ve had orange, red, black, brown, blonde, platinum…to name a few. For the past maybe eight or so years, I’ve had short hair, usually in a pixie cut. After a bad experience at a salon, I declared: I’m growing my hair out. Then another moment came—where I was fed up with things in my life—and I decided: Ok, I am done with blonde, I am dying my hair brown. This was in an attempt to go back to my natural dark blonde roots. Oddly enough, four days after changing my hair I quit my job. Clearly there was unrest happening in me that I didn’t even know about fully, and it manifested itself… in my hair choice. I have gone through many different times…

Life September 7, 2017

Is Writing Easy for You?

I read a post on Medium from a guy, who said writing comes easy to him. He just sits down and writes. Boom. Done. It’s been like that since he was 10 years old. He just writes like he talks. While writing like you talk can be good advice in some cases (like a blog), and that is super great, for him…to me, that was super annoying! Do you remember that star athlete in high school who could do any sport and succeed at it, even if it was the first time they tried it? It was hard not to be jealous of them (unless that was you), but we all know jealousy gets you nowhere…. Or what about those kids who thought they were the greatest at something, but really weren’t self-aware enough to know where their skill level actually was at? Writing, at least lately, has not been easy for…