Writing a memoir is not for the faint of heart. Have you ever been so angry that you can’t think straight, and you just start swearing at your computer screen? I have. When I first started writing a memoir, I had something to prove. I wanted anyone and everyone to know just how badly I had been treated in my first marriage. I was very angry. And rightly so, but what I have learned is that angry writing isn’t always helpful writing. As a reader, when you read something, you don’t want the words to be yelling at you. A while back I heard someone say: you will know when you are ready to share your story with the world when you don’t have something to prove. It’s the idea that you are in a good place with something when you no longer have to prove it. There have been…
There are days when I have a lot to say and write about, but I don’t know where to start. I type and I type and I type, but I end up not writing anything that is blog-worthy. Though I am unsure if I know what that even is at this point. I’m a recovering perfectionist, or rather some days I still am one, who reads all the blogs, books and articles I can to know how to be a better writer and blogger. And then boom the overwhelm creeps in. I can’t seem to keep all the advice straight. So I don’t post anything because it doesn’t have a theme or a point or isn’t well-written or doesn’t pass the length test or whatever reason the other people told me I needed to do in order to be great. Too many times I have started blogs and then dropped…
It is not that I have nothing to write. It is that I have too much to write. I start and go down one path then another then another. My head is swimming in thoughts and some connect, some don’t. Probably some on a subconscious level do and don’t connect, confusing all other conscious thoughts. I used to think that I got writer’s block. I don’t think I do. In some ways, I don’t think it exists. Maybe it does for some people, but it manifests itself in different ways. I never run out of things to write about, I simply run into something else that blocks my creativity. I get a thing I call perfectionism block. Where my mind shuts off when it discovers I can’t do something perfectly. As soon as it thinks through all the possibilities and the idea that I might have missed or perspectives…
Unless you are bald, the hair on your head is with you everywhere. It is a defining feature. I have changed my hair many times. I’ve had orange, red, black, brown, blonde, platinum…to name a few. For the past maybe eight or so years, I’ve had short hair, usually in a pixie cut. After a bad experience at a salon, I declared: I’m growing my hair out. Then another moment came—where I was fed up with things in my life—and I decided: Ok, I am done with blonde, I am dying my hair brown. This was in an attempt to go back to my natural dark blonde roots. Oddly enough, four days after changing my hair I quit my job. Clearly there was unrest happening in me that I didn’t even know about fully, and it manifested itself… in my hair choice. I have gone through many different times…
I read a post on Medium from a guy, who said writing comes easy to him. He just sits down and writes. Boom. Done. It’s been like that since he was 10 years old. He just writes like he talks. While writing like you talk can be good advice in some cases (like a blog), and that is super great, for him…to me, that was super annoying! Do you remember that star athlete in high school who could do any sport and succeed at it, even if it was the first time they tried it? It was hard not to be jealous of them (unless that was you), but we all know jealousy gets you nowhere…. Or what about those kids who thought they were the greatest at something, but really weren’t self-aware enough to know where their skill level actually was at? Writing, at least lately, has not been easy for…