Aubri Black

Life January 3, 2018

Living life at my own pace

Do you ever feel the pressure to do more, achieve more, be more? More often than not I feel this pressure in my life. I feel the pressure to make new year’s resolution. I feel the pressure to constantly be getting better at things. Most nagging is the pressure to be perfect. This year, I’m taking the pressure off. I don’t need to do something just because everyone else is doing it. Resolutions can be good, it’s wise to look at what you want to change, and think about what you want to accomplish. However, I’ve found that an all or nothing/extreme approach to change, doesn’t work out in the long run. Habits take a lot of time and effort to create and undo, and trying to do all the things all at once, doesn’t build new habits, it just crashes our already exhausted brains. It sets us up to fail in…

Life November 21, 2017

That Time in the Grocery Store When I Remembered Why I’m a Feminist

I was in the line up at the grocery store. There was a middle-aged man at the register in front of me. He was buying four packages of ice cream sandwiches. The girl at the checkout rang them up. When she told him the total, he was upset. “Uh no. That it not how much it should be for four boxes.” The cashier unfazed, asked if they were on sale. He said yes. She turned and asked another girl standing near by to run and check the price for her. What she actually said, gave him the benefit of the doubt: “Can you find the correct prices for these, please. Thank you!” “What?” he said. “You don’t know what the prices of these are?” He used as rude of a tone as possible. Translation: Wow you are stupid for not knowing the price. If I were you, I would know…

Abuse October 24, 2017

Why Jealousy Isn’t Romantic

Jealousy can come across as something that’s desirable in a partner — especially how it is portrayed in certain movies and books. But is it really that romantic? In our culture jealousy is often seen as a normalized behaviour. It’s said that everyone gets jealous because we are human and it just happens. Not always necessarily seen as a good thing, but when things get normalized, those with bad intentions use that to excuse their deplorable behaviour. When a man uses jealousy as an excuse to have a right to act out in a certain way or worse yet, control you, that is not okay. Jealousy is not a valid reason to treat someone else poorly. Especially if they blame the other person for their own behaviour or say something like: I just love you so much that is why I am acting like this. The good news is…

Life October 14, 2017

Does Writer’s Block Exist?

It is not that I have nothing to write. It is that I have too much to write. I start and go down one path then another then another. My head is swimming in thoughts and some connect, some don’t. Probably some on a subconscious level do and don’t connect, confusing all other conscious thoughts. I used to think that I got writer’s block. I don’t think I do. In some ways, I don’t think it exists. Maybe it does for some people, but it manifests itself in different ways. I never run out of things to write about, I simply run into something else that blocks my creativity. I get a thing I call perfectionism block. Where my mind shuts off when it discovers I can’t do something perfectly. As soon as it thinks through all the possibilities and the idea that I might have missed or perspectives…

Life October 5, 2017

From Blonde to Brown and Back Again, an Aubri’s Tale

Unless you are bald, the hair on your head is with you everywhere. It is a defining feature. I have changed my hair many times. I’ve had orange, red, black, brown, blonde, platinum…to name a few. For the past maybe eight or so years, I’ve had short hair, usually in a pixie cut. After a bad experience at a salon, I declared: I’m growing my hair out. Then another moment came—where I was fed up with things in my life—and I decided: Ok, I am done with blonde, I am dying my hair brown. This was in an attempt to go back to my natural dark blonde roots. Oddly enough, four days after changing my hair I quit my job. Clearly there was unrest happening in me that I didn’t even know about fully, and it manifested itself… in my hair choice. I have gone through many different times…

Life September 22, 2017

The Great Pumpkin Depression

When a pumpkin spice latte doesn’t make you feel better… perhaps something is wrong. There are a lot of people who are excited about fall. But this year, I’m not one of them. The long nights and the rainy days, the gloomy cloudy rainy dark days and nights: fall begins them all. I don’t completely hate this time of year. I like the colder nights, snuggling up with a giant fuzzy blanket and a bunch of pillows. I like everything pumpkin. I do sometimes like the excuse to stay in and not feel guilty because it’s raining. I however struggle with depression and the weather affects me. When it isn’t sunny out, I feel less hopeful and less motivated. I wish I could explain this in a way that makes sense to those who don’t know what that is like, but I don’t know that I can. The first day…

Life September 12, 2017

What is a Copywriter?

Recently I’ve noticed that what I do for a living is not a commonly known term. When people ask me what I do, I say: “I’m a copywriter.” Side Note: I am also a writer, but if I said writer—and not copywriter—people usually think novels, poetry, articles, etc. (which I do write), but those are not how I make money (right now). I’m a freelance copywriter. The next question is: What’s a copywriter? After I explain, these are some of the responses I’ve gotten: Oh, I thought you made photocopies or were a scribe. I figured you copied other people’s writing. Ok, so you’re not a ghostwriter? I was thinking you wrote copyright laws or some legal thing like that. I’m glad people ask. The other day I went to a new hairstylist, and her first response was to laugh when I used the term “copywriting” as if…

Life September 7, 2017

Is Writing Easy for You?

I read a post on Medium from a guy, who said writing comes easy to him. He just sits down and writes. Boom. Done. It’s been like that since he was 10 years old. He just writes like he talks. While writing like you talk can be good advice in some cases (like a blog), and that is super great, for him…to me, that was super annoying! Do you remember that star athlete in high school who could do any sport and succeed at it, even if it was the first time they tried it? It was hard not to be jealous of them (unless that was you), but we all know jealousy gets you nowhere…. Or what about those kids who thought they were the greatest at something, but really weren’t self-aware enough to know where their skill level actually was at? Writing, at least lately, has not been easy for…

Life September 4, 2017

Are You Secretly Judgmental?

There’s a horrible habit we have in our society that I am not a fan of, but am guilty of, and need to confess. Many of us do this stupid thing where we compare ourselves to others. When we compare, we judge. And in comparing we might feel horrible because of where we are or we find ourselves feeling superior because we are much farther ahead. Neither of these are good for the soul. You are good enough. Just for being you. You don’t need to compare yourself to someone else to feel okay with who you are. But sometimes I still do this. Do you wonder if you are good enough if you are worthy if you belong? Our culture teaches us that the way to know this is to look down on the other people around you and then by doing so you can elevate yourself. Not…

Abuse February 14, 2017

Why I Hated Valentine’s Day

You know that girl who hates Valentine’s Day because she doesn’t have a movie-version of love in her life? Yeah, that was me. Love is tricky. The word covers so many possible definitions. I love my family. I love my socks. I love foxes. As humans, we are prone to imposing conditions on love. However, conditional love can come at too high a cost — it’s exhausting. Is it possible to keep loving someone who always gives “love” based on conditions? If perfection is a requirement, can anyone achieve that? Is it even really love? Valentine’s Day was a day that came around and reminded me that I considered love to be gifts, chocolate and candy. I’m obsessed with cinnamon hearts and February is the only time I can get them. But he hated cinnamon hearts, wouldn’t be near me even if he just smelt them. (Perhaps, that is why…