There’s a horrible habit we have in our society that I am not a fan of, but am guilty of, and need to confess.
Many of us do this stupid thing where we compare ourselves to others. When we compare, we judge.
And in comparing we might feel horrible because of where we are or we find ourselves feeling superior because we are much farther ahead. Neither of these are good for the soul.
You are good enough. Just for being you.
You don’t need to compare yourself to someone else to feel okay with who you are.
But sometimes I still do this.
Do you wonder if you are good enough if you are worthy if you belong? Our culture teaches us that the way to know this is to look down on the other people around you and then by doing so you can elevate yourself. Not true. It might feel good in the moment, it might even feel like yes you are good enough, even better. But it won’t last. It never does. It eventually fades. And you have to find someone else to look down on.
Stomping on people around you, even just in your mind, or unintentionally as a boost upwards will send you crashing to the ground afterward.
It’s like a sugar-high. We all know we crash after that high is done. That sugar intake didn’t give us actual lasting energy, it was superficial, chemical. And it didn’t last. Suddenly, you need more sugar to help you get the same high as before, like a drug. Judging people is an addiction and it’s bad for you.
Real talk time, I have found myself saying: At least I am not as [fill in the blank] as that person.
That comes from looking down on someone else, judging them and using that to make myself feel better about where I am at. That kind of thing wears down my soul. It doesn’t lift me up, it lets darkness in, little by little until I’ve gone down a deep dark hole and I hate everyone and everything, including myself.
I’m telling you this because I know I can choose to be different and so can you.
“You are good enough. Just for being you.”
It doesn’t matter how different someone else’s size is compared to mine. I am what size I am and all I have to compare that to is myself. It doesn’t matter what someone else looks like, we look how we do and there’s nothing I or anyone else can do about that. Like my step-kid yells 24/7 about random things: IT’S NOT FAIR. Yes, it’s not fair to look down on someone because of something they cannot change!
Things matter when we let them matter. Who someone else is and what someone else is doing with their life, doesn’t need to affect us unless we let that be the case.
I don’t like this type of behaviour and I’m working hard to go in the opposite direction. Being honest about my harmful thoughts and choosing to look at people for who they are and embracing that instead.
When I am healthy on the inside. I love people’s weirdness. I love that people are doing different things than me. I love that others are succeeding! I’m excited about who they are and what they are doing.
The judgment of others comes from a deep dark place of insecurity. It won’t stay hidden, and judging is something that I don’t want to control my thoughts.
A judgmental attitude hurts other people and it hurts me. It darkens our souls and disrupts the beauty we have within.
Next time you are feeling down and you want to feel better, don’t look to prop yourself up by putting other people down, instead focus on the good things about yourself. Remember you are worth it, you are good enough, you are wonderful because of who you are.
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