If you want to understand what abuse is like ⁠— for yourself or someone you know ⁠— here are three of the best books I’ve found to start the journey to learn more.

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

by Lundy Bancroft

In his book Lundy Bancroft explains how abusers think and what they do. It’s an essential book to help anyone to recognize if the relationship is controlling and devaluing. There is also helpful advice on how to get free from the abuse and how family and friends can help. If you have ever asked the question, “Why Does He Do That?” then you need to read this book. You will have a far greater understanding of the inner working on abusive men.

What you’ll get from this book:

• The early warning signs of abuse
• The nature of abusive thinking
• Myths about abusers
• Ten abusive personality types
• The role of drugs and alcohol
• What you can fix, and what you can’t
• And how to get out of an abusive relationship

“This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”
—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health

When Love Hurts: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships

by Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis

If you’re a woman who has experienced abuse or you’re wondering if you are experiencing abuse, this book will give you answers to some of the difficult questions you have been wrestling with. If you know someone in an abusive relationship, this book will give you insight into what that is like.

What you’ll get from this book:

  • practical advice
  • real-life examples
  • detailed descriptions of the different types of abuse
  • an explanation of the abusive belief system
  • help for what to do next

“This is an excellent resource not only for women to use on their own but also for counselors and advocates.”
Dr. Mary Russell Professor of Social Work, University of British Columbia, Canada

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond

by Patricia Evans

This book will help you to recognize and respond to abuse. It compares and contrasts an abusive relationship and a healthy relationship. Knowing what a relationship should look like is important healing step for any abuse survivor.

What you’ll get from this book:

  • how to recognize abuse
  • how to safely respond to abuse
  • how to lead a healthier life
  • help to deal with the abuse and the abuser
  • levels of abuse
  • strategies
  • sample scripts
  • action plans

“A groundbreaking book…” Newsweek


What books have you found helpful?

Check out my Resources page to find more to read.

Author

I love to write. One of my favourite things to do is read books. I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. I like foxes and drinking tea. I'm passionate about empowering women to find their voice and live their best lives.

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